The Accidental Hedonist's Guide to:







My Book





99 Drams of Whiskey:The Accidental Hedonist's Quest for the Perfect Shot and the History of the Drink




Communication


Kids in Restaurants

11/01/07, by Kate Hopkins Email 4705 views • Categories: Restaurants

We've talked about this before, earlier this year, but I've seen the discussion pop up recently on two different Seattle Blogs, and it's still a bit of a contentious issue.

Over on West Seattle Blog, a reader sent in a review of a new restaurant in the area (Ama Ama for those of you in the West Seattle are), and they had this to say:

We went to the “shakedown cruise” of Ama Ama last night. Just wondering if you heard from anyone else who went? It was good – not over the top, but good with potential. The “sliders” will probably become a crowd favorite – mini burgers on a yummy bakery nouveau roll – 2 for $8. Some of the best pomme frites included as well. What was missing: a kid menu.

No! No! A thousand times no! Not all restaurants should be kid friendly, and if an owner makes the business decision to NOT put chicken fingers on a menu, then guess what? The poor little darlings will have to do without.

I'm writing this under the influence of lack of sleep, so forgive the manner in which I state this, but please understand - the world is not your kids playground. There are many things that do not always have to be seen from a child's viewpoint. Restaurants are one of these things.

But if a restaurant owner decides to make their place kid-friendly? Well that's their choice. But this doesn't mean that this is an open invitation to treat a restaurant as your own version of Chucky Cheese. As Dan Savage (yes, this Dan Savage) so eloquently wrote yesterday on the Slog (in response to Smith's going family friendly):

Just as responsible pit-bull owners—both of them—are angered by the behavior of irresponsible pit-bull owners, responsible parents—the kind of parents that keep their kids under control at all times in restaurants—are angered by parents that bring out-of-control brats into restaurants. My kid is under control in restaurants because his parents don’t want to ruin your meal anymore than his parents want some other parents’ kids to ruin their meal.

To me, a child running around a restaurant, shrieking at the top of their lungs is as annoying as the woman who won't put out her cigarette. Both of these behaviors interfere with my enjoyment of a meal, and the company I am keeping. Trust me when I say this: Your child is not as precocious as you believe them to be. Bring your kid to the restaurant! Expose them to new and unique experiences! But please, please, please, don't make the owners meet the demands of your children, and don't make other patrons deal with your kids behavior problems.

And as a quick side note: the food world would be a better place if we got rid of the concept of "Kid's Menus". The world is not well served by having hot dogs and chicken nuggets available to children at all times.

UPDATE: Lest people leave this site feeling as if I'm a heartless cur, I'm not blaming the children in any of this. As a commenter alluded to - kids act like kids. It's really up to the parent to decide whether or not a child is appropriate for a specific environment. My guess is that most parents would likely think twice about taking the kids out to a place where Martini's are top selling drink o' choice.

Conversely, an adult has no room to complain about Chuck E. Cheese, McDonalds or any other restaurant that markets to children. If you're a childless adult, these places aren't designed for you. It does play both ways.


Your favourite Social Bookmark codes go here.

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: ben [Visitor] Email · http://bengarland.com
The world would be a better place if we just got rid of all children.
PermalinkPermalink 11/01/07 @ 04:38
Comment from: George [Visitor] Email
I waffle between nodding my head and shaking my head with this entry.

My kids go everywhere with me...EVERYWHERE. Except on the ultra-rare "date night", I simply don't go places that are not kid friendly. I do this because I believe that, as a parent, it's my responsibility to place the needs of my children before mine. I also believe that, as a parent, I have a responsibility to make sure that my little darlings don't pester the ever loving heck out of anyone else. My kids are well behaved but, to hedge our bet, we go to establishments that welcome kids. I don't simply mean Charles Fromage...this includes other chains or local restaurants that fit within my culinary and budgetary limits.

As to the kids menu, I agree that they are generally a bit staid and redundant. However, if you don't have kids, you may not know that kids, in general, are not very open to new culinary options. I'm lucky that my children love new things but I am definitely the exception. I love the kid menu simply from a standpoint of economics. Generally, my kids can't eat a full adult portion and I appreciate the fact the an establishment will do a small portion for my small people.

Awesome topic, Kate. I can't wait to read the views of others on this one.
PermalinkPermalink 11/01/07 @ 04:51
Comment from: Rebecca [Visitor] Email · http://www.k2p2.net
/applause

I agree completely! Our first child is due in 7 weeks (holy cow, is that right?! Ack!), and I couldn't agree with you more.

We plan to raise this child the way we were raised. In a restaurant, you sit your butt down and use the same (or better) manners that you use at the dinner table at home. That means inside voices, and you do not get up from the table until you are excused, after everyone has finished eating.

Thank you for saying what I've been thinking along!
PermalinkPermalink 11/01/07 @ 05:05
Comment from: Patrick [Visitor] Email
Aren't sliders and pomme frites (i.e., burger and fries) already kids items?
PermalinkPermalink 11/01/07 @ 05:30
Comment from: Journeywoman [Visitor] Email · http://journeywoman.typepad.com
I couldn't agree more.

Not all restaurants should cater to children. It's not necessary. Also I think new things on the "kids" menu is a good idea.

PermalinkPermalink 11/01/07 @ 06:07
Comment from: Miss T [Visitor] Email · http://mysteryhouse.typepad.com
Thank you! If I never see another chicken finger on a menu, it will be too soon. How did it come about that this is the only thing children will eat? I somehow managed to survive childhood without ever eating a single chicken finger.
PermalinkPermalink 11/01/07 @ 06:24
Comment from: Jim [Visitor] Email
Kids menu doesn't need be crappy food, but smaller portions of other things on the menu. I'm not going to pay $30 so my 2 year old (who is always quiet in the restaurant, by the way), can have some salmon and eat only 1/5th of the portion.
PermalinkPermalink 11/01/07 @ 06:53
Comment from: TimmyMac [Visitor] Email · http://www.themcintireconspiracy.com
The thing about kids is that they're unpredictable. 9 times out of 10, my little dudes are great. Every now and then, though, they (shockingly) act like kids.

While I'm usually chagrined and embarrassed when it happens, it also comes with the territory, and the last thing I need is some entitled yup-bags cluck-clucking me becasue my kids are interrupting their riveting conversation about celebrity gossip. Trust me, I feel bad enough, okay? I'm also probably tired and flustered and was just trying to get a goddamn sandwich.

Sorry to rant. You're right. Some places are good for kids, and some aren't, and people should respect that, of course. I just don't like the anti-child tone some people get, you know? Be mad at the parents if you must, but the kids are just kids.

And if you haven't tried to raise one of the little maniacs, keep the Monday morning quarterbacking to a minimum. It's harder than it looks.
PermalinkPermalink 11/01/07 @ 07:41
Comment from: tim [Visitor] Email
If you live in the twin cities - Dara makes some recommendations for kids:

http://articles.citypages.com/2007-10-31/restaurants/waiter-more-crayons/
PermalinkPermalink 11/01/07 @ 07:44
Comment from: dixie [Visitor] Email
I am raising 3 kids who are well disciplined, well behaved and well versed in appropriate behavior when dining in a restaurant. When we go to a restaurant they are seen and not heard. Why should my children disrupt someone else's evening out? When I am interrupted by someone's ill-behaved child I resent it - I'm paying for a nice evening out and don't care to listen to someones kid have a melt down or scream across the restaurant, etc. And the parents that ignore that type of behavior? They (and their delightful children) should be escorted out of the restaurant.

Children's menus? Forget them. If your child doesn't want to eat what the restaurant has to offer then don't bring them. The rest of us (those with and without children) will thank you.
PermalinkPermalink 11/01/07 @ 09:18
Comment from: Beverly [Visitor] Email
There is a difference between being "anti-kid" and wanting a clearer distinction between kid spaces and grownup spaces. There should be plenty of spaces where kid behavior is expected and tolerated, and plenty of others where grownup behavior is required. Any adult who feels the need to chide other people's kids at a family-style restaurant should get out of there immediately, and the same goes for anybody--kid or adult--who can't speak softly and eat neatly at a grownup restaurant.

Now all we have to do is agree on which is which.
PermalinkPermalink 11/01/07 @ 09:43
Comment from: Slyde [Visitor] Email · http://www.Slydesblog.com
I agree.. if you are kidless, you have NO business in Chuck. E. Cheese.
PermalinkPermalink 11/01/07 @ 09:58
Comment from: Vanessa [Visitor] Email · http://www.whatgeekseat.com
What is "kid-friendly". I'm sure it's not a place I would dine and I'm also sure my kids would see it as inspid.

My kids can dine appropriately anywhere because that's how we've brought them up.

Smoking is usually illegal in restaurants...unfortunately the child screaming like they've been set on fire because their ketchup has touched their chicken finger isn't.

Teach them well or stay home.
PermalinkPermalink 11/01/07 @ 10:06
Comment from: Sherri [Visitor] Email
I've been to 'grown-up' places where children were allowed to run about, be noisy, throw their food (4-5 yr olds, not 1-2 yrs). While I felt the parents were at fault for not teaching their children proper behavior, I also felt the restaurant management was at fault for not intervening.

Give the parents' a minute to see if they're able to correct their children, or take them to the bathroom or parking lot, but after a minute, inform them that such behavior is not allowed there.

This most likely would not be an issue with the majority of responsible parents posting in this thread -- even well behaved children have their moments, but decent parents intervene quickly, and that's appreciated. It's the parents that do nothing to correct the situation. They're the ones that need management to step in.

But most management seems to be afraid to correct these situations, even though it bothers many other customers.
PermalinkPermalink 11/01/07 @ 10:09
Comment from: Joanne [Visitor] Email · http://www.ForkandBottle.com
My 2 cents on this very hot topic... Restaurant kids menus should be really a portion issue - some great restaurants are happy to make smaller portions of anything on their menu. Others will not stoop to cater to little ones. Still other offer the dreaded chicken finger/pizza/macncheese menus. IMHO It's ok if the price of dining out with kids in a nice restaurant is an entree or appetizer that they are unlikely to finish. Most restaurants are happy to package up the remainder to go.

I think parents need to be responsible bringing kids to restaurants. Meltdowns need to be taken outside. But kids who behave should be able to go anywhere. Children's dining is handled better in Europe where restaurants request that children dine before a certain hour. Makes sense anyways. We take our son (5) everywhere (except 3star Michelins -mainly because of the cost and length of dinner).
PermalinkPermalink 11/01/07 @ 10:57
Comment from: Pat [Visitor] Email
You really hit the nail on the head with the "kids behavior is a reflection of the parents..." I have a two, four and eight year old, and they are very well behaved because they understand that going to a restaurant is a treat. They prefer a kids menu, but that does not mean that they order from it all the time. If we go some place ethnic, they are forbidden from ordering chicken fingers, for example. They know that part of the reason we go to restaurants is to taste things that we don't normally get at home. We hit a Thai place the other night, and it took some creative thinking, but they all had a good meal.

Aside: If you are at a restaurant and there are kids that are behaving very well, it is always nice to drop a compliment on the parents on the way out.
PermalinkPermalink 11/01/07 @ 11:04
Comment from: Maureen [Visitor] Email
When we were growing up my brother and I never had anything from the children's menu. Our parents ordered two adult meals and took some of their portion for each of us. A cup of soup is the perfect size for kids. Appetizers are kid size. One dinner salad divided between two children works too. However, we never shared when it came to ice cream:) If we misbehaved my father had a way of giving us "that look" and raising one eyebrow. That pretty much put us in our place.
PermalinkPermalink 11/01/07 @ 12:21
Comment from: Timmy Mac [Visitor] Email · http://www.themcintireconspiracy.com
I can't even fathom forbidding your kid to order from a children's menu.

If I told my 3 year old he couldn't have mac and cheese, then you'd see the behavior y'all are so mad about.

My point is that people shouldn't be so quick to assume bad parenting based on the one episode of crazy kids they see. Even the best behaved kids have a bad day, you know? I'd hate to think I was being judged as a BAD HORRIBLE PARENT WHO RUINS EVERYONE'S FUN because my 3-year old got cranky before the check came.
PermalinkPermalink 11/01/07 @ 13:09
Comment from: WebTrucker [Visitor] Email
To make it worse.. appearently they are making the kids menu by copying from arguably one of THE worse franchise fast food chains..... White Castles!!! "Sliders" are what everybody calls their tiny burgers that are the mainstay of their menu, due to how they "slide" through your system when you eat them.Ironicly, the chain picked up on the term and has used it in thier advertising for the past few years. I just dont think they get it.
PermalinkPermalink 11/01/07 @ 14:33
Comment from: Jack [Visitor] Email · http://www.ForkandBottle.com
"Conversely, an adult has no room to complain about Chuck E. Cheese, McDonalds or any other restaurant that markets to children. If you're a childless adult, these places aren't designed for you. It does play both ways."

I couldn't disagree more with this. Why must adults lower their standards because it's a kid's restaurant or a fast food restaurant? I remain so disappointed that 98% of the parents in this country think it's just fine to have a party at McDonalds.
PermalinkPermalink 11/01/07 @ 15:28
Comment from: Joe R. [Visitor] Email
No one will suspect you of bad parenting if your child misbehaves. People will suspect of bad parenting if your child misbehaves...and you encourage it through inaction. There's a big, big difference.
PermalinkPermalink 11/01/07 @ 21:03
Comment from: Kate [Visitor] Email
I agree there are restaurants where you should not bring kids. If I'm on a date at a quiet, romantic, upscale place on the lake with my husband, I don't want a toddler at the next table in high chair throwing french fries on the carpet. I'm sorry, but can't they eat at Denny's until he learns food doesn't belong on the floor? I'm not denying parents a night out; but what happened to babysitters?? I just spent $90 on a nice bistro birthday dinner for a friend and I that was ruined by a gleefully shrieking toddler and grandparents who kept saying "oh, ssshhh..." The kid thought it was a game.

This is my Wheelhouse Issue. Restaurant staffers appear too afraid of bad publicity to say anything, because they'll be boycotted by The Coterie of Indignant Parents shouting "My child has rights! He's just exploring HIS WORLD!" I used to want a half-dozen kids; I'm now in my 40s and happily childfree. But I have come to realize an important distinction: I don't hate kids, I hate parents.

Kids will be kids, and power to them! They're supposed to push the boundaries; parents are supposed to provide limits and guidance. Parents today believe in more of a hands-off attitude. They're afraid to discipline, they feel guilty over how little time they have to spend with their child after work, and in a divorced/blended situation...nobody wants to be "the bad guy."

Maybe this is urban legend, but I heard about a nice restaurant where one family's children were running around and crawling under the table, shrieking, and generally upsetting other diners. When their meal arrived, the manager himself delivered it, packaged to go. He graciously explained that he appreciated their business, but he had other guests as well. Perhaps the family could return sometime when the children were calmer. He included complimentary desserts and handed them the bill.

Now that's the way it should be handled!
PermalinkPermalink 11/06/07 @ 13:42
Comment from: John Galt [Visitor] Email
My proudest moment as a parent? When my then 2-year old handed me back a cookie in the supermarket so he could eat an extra piece of Brie.
PermalinkPermalink 11/07/07 @ 18:27
Comment from: cruzinman [Visitor] Email
Let's face it. Most of the parents who bring their annoying kids to restaurant are either too cheap to hire a sitter or have had sitters quit on them because of the antics of the kids.
PermalinkPermalink 10/21/09 @ 16:31

Leave a comment:

Your email address will not be displayed on this site.
Your URL will be displayed.

Allowed XHTML tags: <p, ul, ol, li, dl, dt, dd, address, blockquote, ins, del, span, bdo, br, em, strong, dfn, code, samp, kdb, var, cite, abbr, acronym, q, sub, sup, tt, i, b, big, small>
(Line breaks become <br />)
(Set cookies for name, email and url)
(Allow users to contact you through a message form (your email will NOT be displayed.))
What color is a red balloon?