Yeah, I wish they all had that...for other peoples' kids. As the parent of kids who were *always* well-behaved in restaurants--I think the youngest (of 4) was eight before they'd all aged out of the "little old lady from the next table stopping by with compliments" phase--I hated being stuck back with whatever other kids happened to be in the restaurant. Understood it, but hated it.

/sigh. Some peoples' kids.

About a year ago, here in Chicago, we had quite a brawl about this subject.

A restauranteur put up a sign that said:
"children of all ages have to behave and use their indoor voices when coming to A Taste of Heaven"

Major firestorm, check out the NYT article.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/09/national/09bakery.html?ei=5090&en=b76b094150f30311&ex=1289192400&adxnnl=1&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss&adxnnlx=1173278911-df4xe+2B9WCyNJ0MwXTqBg

It's insane to me (as a parent and citydweller) that people can possibly think its ok to let your kids run wild, especially in "quieter" places. Chucky Cheese is just up the way folks... your kids will enjoy it more, trust me.

I think this is a great idea. My kids are pretty well-behaved, but we've skipped going out to dinner on occasion becasue it's no fun to be policing your knuckleheads instead of enjoying the meal. I mean, they have good manners, but they're KIDS, and after a while, they want to act like kids.

If I could go enjoy some food that doesn't come from a drive-through and be able to relax a bit if my four-year old acts like a four-year old, well, I'd give that restauarant a whole lot of business.

I waitressed at a waterfront restaurant that had oyster specials. I was serving a table when I saw a mis-behaving child running around, and ducked under another waitress's serving tray over-filled with oyster setups (a big round tin filled with ice and shucked oysters) -- it was very heavy. And she had NO idea that brat was there, ducked right where her next step would have been.

In the middle of a somewhat quiet restaurant, I screamed her name, and for her not to move.

Everyone's head turned towards me, then they all followed my gaze and saw why I screamed in a nice restaurant.

The brat's mother ran over (from the OTHER SIDE OF THE LARGE RESTAURANT!) to drag him back to her table.

This child might not have been hurt too badly from numerous oyster plates (full of ice and shucked oysters) and the tray, but had the waitress tripped over him, either of them -- or both -- could have been injured.

I am not a parent, I am an aunt. I remember going to a Red Lobster with the parents(my sister and brother-in-law) and the nephew. The nephew decided that he was going to have a fit, turning around and screaming in the ears of the family who was in the next booth over. The parent’s approach was to let him just 'cry it out and get over it.' I was shocked and embarrassed to be sitting with this screaming kid and told them that if they were not going to take him out of the restaurant, I would! I didn't want my meal, nor the eardrums of our neighbors ruined.

That being said, this same child now gets McDs on a regular (almost daily) basis and won't eat anything else that doesn't come with a toy or smothered in sauce. So I ask myself, what is the greater of the two evils: a screaming child at my dinner or a child who thinks that good food comes in a Happy Meal?

Kudos to Crush!

The problem is the parents, not the kids. Given the right expectations, fair treatment and discipline, most children will behave through a normal length diner. You'll just have to wait a few years until you can go to those 10 course wine pairing meals.

I have been blessed with kids (now 11 and 10 years old) that prefer sushi over McDonalds. They actually despise McDonalds altogether and have been doing so for several years. I think this is related to us cooking a lot at home and teaching them to eat whatever the grownups eat. I agree with you all in that the parents decide what kind of kids they get by raising them properly. Kids without a decent rule framework will not behave in a restaurant (or any other place) if there is nothing to gain from it. Maybe families nights might be good idea for families with very youg kids. It is hard to tell a one year old not to cry. But for older kids I think parents should take their responsibility and make sure they can behave in any restaurant without disturbing other guests.

(Thanks for a great blog by the way. Have been reading it for a while now.)

Maybe the 10-course wine pairings would keep the kids quiet ... oh, bad parent! No, I agree with a restaurant that would offer a kids' night as long as that is not the ONLY night kids can go. They have to learn how to behave in that environment, and you can't teach them if they can't go.

Fredrik, I don't know you, but I like you. After I wrote the first two articles in my series on childhood nutrition back on my site, hearing from parents like you gives me hope. A warm, fuzzy little ray of hope.

Thanks.

the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin is a movie theater-restaurant that has "Baby Day" on Tuesdays; parents can bring their kids to the movies without the fear of being kicked out if the kids get out of hand. And it's advertised enough that if someone does come to Baby Day who isn't a parent with a kid and get annoyed by a screaming child, too bad. it's brilliant.

The implicit assumption in "family night" is that families are not welcome on other nights. Hallelujah! More than babies, it's the toddlers and grade school kids that are most annoying. I guess parents just become desensitized to their own kids. I can understand that--otherwise you'd go crazy. But it makes it hard on other people when they are out in public.

Folks worried that your baby's crying or tot's short cranky outburst is going to ruin my meal -- don't sweat it. We were all kids once, we all did it, and really, a few seconds of noise isn't going to trash my kidless ass's night, especially considering the limited means the young'ns have for making their needs known. And I know because you're concerned about others, if it turns into a scene you'll deal with it in a way that doesn't disturb the rest of us.

Some of us were blessed with considerate, patient parents able to deal with our episodes and use them to teach proper behavior in outside company. These are the parents who'll welcome kids' nights. Unfortunately it's the inconsiderate parents of monsters who really need to limit their dining to those evenings; but I'm afraid those are the people least likely to take advantage of the opportunity.

I agree with Jah Larry. It's the parents not the kids. My son is 6 (and has some speechdevelopment issues and some perception problems so he's not as easiely handled as a "normal" 6 y.o.) and he can still behave at a restaurant. We went out for Chinese last Sunday, for my birthday dinner. It was buffet. He had maybe half a plate because he's not a good eater (just like me when I was his age) but he had some toy cars with him, we picked a seat in a separate area and for the most time he was either playing with the cars or watching the goldfish in the pond. Only when a 4 y.o. turned up with his parents, who didn't give a hoot about their kid yelling at the fish and running around, did my son decide he would run around, too. I got him back to the table right away, because I will not let him do that in a restaurant. (McD's and similar are not restaurants, they're junkfood joints best avoided... but that's a different rant.) He did whine a little, but then played with his cars and after the other family left he went back to quietly watching the fish...
I would not apreciate getting "stuck" in a childrens area at a nice restaurant just because I happen to bring my son, but then I do discipline in public places (no hitting, we use "the voice" and he knows we'll go straight home if he doesn't behave, even in the middle of dinner if we have to).
But I also don't enjoy it when there's kids running around screaming and pestering people at other tables. And usually those kids don't just act out in restaurants but the problem reaches much much further. I know parents who will tell me over and over again how they can't understand why their kids are little monsters while all they do is stick them in front of the TV all day and when they have dinner the kids shove the spaghetti into their mouths using their hands, dropping half of them on the floor and furniture and nothing gets said about it.

While dining in Seattle (at lunch, so we were expecting a bit of noise) my fiance and I couldn't help but notice the small girl, dressed as a fairy princess, running through the restaurant yelling and knocking place settings off of unoccupied tables. Several diners were noticably disturbed. Her family seemed to be enjoying her performance, clapping and laughing.

I think the moral of the story is to, as parents, be objective. It's ok to realize your kids aren't perfectly behaved. I know I wasn't. Give them a healthy respect for dinner outings. Those of us without kids understand it's a process, and that children don't emerge from the womb with immaculate manners. Having a "fancy dinner" night at home can be a fun way to introduce kids to a restaurant experience. Mom or dad can play waiter. Treat it like a game, and they'll enjoy learning it. But if you let your kids go out in public in costume, don't be surprised when they put on a show.

I can applaud Crush for the idea. I think it's a great one to offer a night where parents can bring their kids without worrying about what the rest of the restaurant thinks.

That being said, I would never go to a family night at a restaurant. Like nicole above, my children (3 and 6) behave excellently when we dine out. They know what's espected of them and behave very well. It's only when they see other children misbehaving that they try to step out of their good behavior. However, it would be nice to be treated normally at a restaurant. I'm tired of getting the table just outside the noisy kitchen or the one just inside the frigid outer door, just because we have children with us.

I agree also that the problem is with the parents, not the children. It always boggles me that I can see a swarm of 20 7-year-olds being quiet and behaved on a school trip to an art museum, but those same kids will holler, whine, and throw sugar at restaurants and otherwise misbehave in other inappropriate places. I mean, if people can teach their children to behave properly in one setting, why not in all settings?

Yeah, there are kids who act up in restaurants - disturbing other patrons, but most folks who chose to go to (and pay for) a sit down - table side service place know how to keep their kids in check.

The real problem is with us "other" patrons: We will not tolerate a child's raised voice and feel our experience "ruined" if there is a loud child at the next table. However, loud obnoxious adults get a pass.

Next time you are in a restaurant with a loud child, stop and listen: I'll bet you there are plenty of adult voices and laughter much louder than the kid that you automatically tune out.

Laughing and boisterous adults create "ambiance." Laughing and boisterous kids are not accepted. It's all a matter of expectations.

Here in Australia, I haven't come across any such thing as a family night, however think that it is a marvelous idea. We currently take our 10 month old daughter out for lunch, rather than for dinner, as it tends to be less formal, and service staff are more tolerant.

I think (maybe it's hope rather than thought) that inculcating expectations of behaviour in restaurants starts young. Our daughter is happy to sit on our laps and wait for food, and acts a great deal more patiently than she does at home.

It is a two-way street. We, and our daughter, like it if someone says hello, and smiles at her, just as we like it when servuice staff greet us . We are far more likely to frequent restaurants which are nice to our daughter, rather than simply tolerate her. She does play her part, and is an adventurous eater for her age.

We love taking her out, and our love of life tends to revolve around food. Anything which can encourage this, and make it easier for parents to take their children to restaurants, rather than fast food joints, is a wonderful initiative.

As a non-parent (thus far), I am clearly biased, but I do believe it comes down to manners, not age.

There are 5-year-old children who can behave better than 50-year-old adults, and in that case, bring on more of the good behavior, age be damned.

That said...the old adage that kids will be kids and are noisy/bad is like saying criminals are criminals and I expected them to steal/rob again or men will be men and cheat on their wives. Sorry, don't buy it.

I was quiet when I was a kid because I was told to be quiet by parents who had my respect. If I wasn't well behaved, a swift and predictable punishment was waiting and I knew it. It worked!

Parents, please discipline your kids and then feel free to bring your kids almost everywhere. If you can't discipline, please always leave them at home.

If you are in a state of transition/training or flux on that topic? The Crush plan sounds good.